Five months. That’s how long I have not seen you. It feels like we’re having a long distance relationship. But even then they have webcam when they miss each other. I don’t.

I know things have certainly changed since I lied. I know I have changed too. I don’t even dare to tell anyone anything anymore. I don’t even know who my true friends are. I love you and I miss you. It really means alot to anyone to hear any of those three words when it comes from a person they love.

I know things have certainly not gone our way since we got together, you going oversea, postponing of our trip time and time again, plans have to be cancelled and soon I will be enlisting. That scares me the most. The thought of not seeing you before I enlist and going through hardship during NDU is what frightens me the most. And that’s what has been making me become crazy whenever things don’t go as planned or when I decided to spam you like crazy in the middle of the night. I miss you so much and I want to talk to you. I don’t want to regret not being able to spend enough time when i enlist.

Graduation meant alot to me. I wanted you to be there because you were the only one who encouraged me when I was preparing for my finals. You were the only one that deserved to be there. I know I may sound like an ungrateful son. But hey, they were never once there for me. They only criticised me and said I would not graduate, why is my GPA so low,  why aren’t I getting the result like their friend kid is. You were the only one who stood by my side saying that I would pass and everything would be fine. You were the only motivation I had to study for my finals. Honestly, I don’t think I would have graduated if it wasn’t for you. And I was really hoping that you would be able to make it. But things didn’t go as what we planned. My mood totally sunk when i heard that you couldn’t go.

Bali means alot to me too. I have been looking forward to it ever since you told me about it a few months back. I thought hey, that’s a good idea. We can spend a few days together. ( That was when you were leaving for Australia) And i guess it means way alot more to me now, after what we are going through now. Out of everything we are going through now, we are allowed to just be close together after so long and spend a few days together. I think we deserved this break to bali.

I guess after spending a few hours to think, its not you or anyone that’s close to you or me that’s driving me crazy. Its enlisting that’s making me this way. I wish it doesn’t have to be this close. It really scares me thinking how with a blink of an eye, enlistment would be here.

stevenrosas:

Missing someone is not about being encircled in their arms, not feeling their warmth beside you when it is most desired. Missing someone is not about just having someone there to hear what you have to say. Missing is a way of saying I love you, and I care for you, whether we are close or not. At one point or another that person was in your life, so not having them in it will surely feel empty. It is natural to miss someone you love, but remember that the feeling may not be reciprocated. In such circumstances there’s not much you can do. What you can do is continue to care and love and hope for the eventual return of the one you enjoyed laughs with, the one you shared your feelings with, and smiles with. I know sometimes missing someone can be both a good and terrible feeling. But if u miss someone, tell them and let them know. Don’t let the feeling of missing someone become one sided. Tell them how you feel and let them know that you would like them in your life one way or another. (“I miss you”…words that don’t serve justice for a person consumed with longing…and I am, I am consumed with longing for your touch my dear.) ♥

lookbookdotnu:

STARS’N’STRIPES (by Bor Padín)

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

27-0:

WANT